So I’m going to talk about what’s been going on with me. Mentally. The big taboo that no one wants to talk about or admit.

So, what’s been going on and why am I a hermit lately you may ask? That would be because something is wrong with me. I’ve gotten the testing done and one thing is for sure, nothing is physically wrong with me, but whatever is, is definitely affecting me physically.

What does this mean? No idea. I think I have undiagnosed anxiety that has manifested over the years and me graduating from school, my safe place, the place where it was safe to fail, not know, and to learn, being taken away was the trigger.

I’m one of this people who will actually google what is going on and 9/10 times I’m usually right. Actually, I’ve been wrong once and that was when I asked if I could go off a medication that I thought would help all of this but it did nothing. So, I’ve googled countless things about anxiety. Am I an expert or right? Maybe not. However, seeing all of the things that add revolving anxiety, I swear to gosh it was describing me, to an absolute T.

What is my next step? Well, I’ve been told to go to counseling. Not that I’m against this method to try and figure my crapola out, just when someone says to do that all I hear is $$$. Yes, I have benefits through my work, but it’ll only cover x amount of sessions and after that, all by my lonesome. It’s grreeeattt. *rolls eyes*

I’ve also been trying meditation through apps on iPhone and so far the only one I can seem to stick with is Calm. It’s been helping a little bit and I’m trying to stick with it but now it wants me to pay monthly to try and continue after the free session, sucks doesn’t it?

Well, this was just my life update. I’m forcing myself to read more and have almost completed the Dorthy Must Die series. I’m hoping that’ll be up on the blog soon enough in between my jobs and now these appointments I’m trying to schedule.

If anyone has any good meditation links or anything good anxiety wise, please hit a girl up! Or, if anyone needs someone to talk to regarding anything, send me a message!

Do you meditate or practice anything similar, like yoga? Let me know!